Swinging Both Ways
You may have heard that handedness, like sexual orientation, is not a choice. And for the majority of us inflexible, pre-oriented losers, this is true. But the few, the proud, the ambidextrous can not only write with either hand, but also have a higher likelihood of being bisexual or dyslexic. According to a recent study published in the journal Brain and Cognition, people who are comfortable writing with either hand have a higher prevalence of bisexuality, homosexuality, dyslexia, asthma and hyperactivity than people who strongly favor one hand. Researchers used data gathered online from 255,000 participants in a BBC survey. Previous studies have not been able to make conclusions about ambidextrous people, because they comprise such a small portion of the population. But even though less than one percent of respondents said they could comfortably write with either hand, the incredible size of the subject pool gave the researchers an analyzable sample of switch-writers. While the authors found no significant difference between left-handed people and right-handed people, they discovered that the ambidextrous performed worse in mental rotation tasks, indicating they have poor spacial ability, and that they were over-represented in sexual minorities, especially bisexuality. The authors emphasize, however, that bisexuals, dyslexics, asthmatics, and hyperactive people still only comprise a minority of ambidextrous people. They also write, "We conclude that contradictions in the literature as to whether or not these variables are linked to handedness stem largely from different definitions of hand preference." Guys, it's not a preference. It's an orientation.
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The Pen Is Mightier
According to The New Republic editor Michael Crowley, in the novel State of Fear, "[Michael Crichton] creates one character, a pompous bleeding heart clearly modeled after Martin Sheen, and then feeds him to cannibals." When Crowley wrote this passage, part of an essay criticizing Crichton for presenting global warming as a conspiratorial hoax (shorter, freer version here), he didn't know how lucky Mr. Sheen was. Crowley, a Yale grad and Washington political journalist, reports that Crichton's newest novel, Next, contains a character named "Mick Crowley," a "Yale graduate" and "Washington-based political columnist" charged with "the sexual assault of a two-year-old boy." And, oh yeah, the fictional Crowley's "penis was small." Crowley (the real one) says he's actually somewhat flattered by the hat tip, noting that, "If someone offers substantive criticism of an author, and the author responds by hitting below the belt, as it were, then he's conceding that the critic has won." Crowley's 3,700-word essay, published last spring, criticized Crichton's influence on President Bush and environmental policy, noting that Crichton testified before the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee and conservative Senator James Inhofe tried to make the fictional State of Fear required reading for the committee. While Crichton has not yet responded to the accusations that he turned his critic into a poorly-endowed child-rapist, I eagerly await the day when I can open his next novel and find an abusive, ruler-wielding fourth grade teacher named Miss Crooney. We'll be so proud.